Answers
by TR-Fanfic
Summary: Heartbroken and convinced that Castle no longer loves her, Beckett shows up at his place looking for the answers and gets far more than she hoped for. Set after The Limey.


Set after The Limey, Beckett goes to Castle demanding answers and gets much more than she bargained for.

Answers

By TR

Martha took one look at her face and let her in with a quiet "he's not home yet."

Beckett nodded and gave her a small sad smile. "Thanks", she said just as quietly.

Martha put a hand on her arm in obvious sympathy and made her way up the stairs leaving Beckett to her thoughts. She sighed, pulled off her jacket and moved to settle in on the couch. She was glad he wasn't there; it gave her time to think about what she was going to say. If there was anything she knew it was that if you didn't ask the right questions, you didn't get the honest answers. And she needed answers. Needed to know just how and when it had all gone to Hell!

She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there, in that cocoon of shadows and firelight, but that's how he'd found her. He'd come in like a whirlwind, like a bloody hurricane on a cotton candy high. Like he always had. All full of witticisms and laughter and snappy comebacks. She didn't want to know who he was talking on the phone with when he'd burst through the door. She was afraid to guess. Whoever it was was getting a dose of the Castle charm in spades. And the knife sank just a little deeper. She knew the moment he saw her. He'd gone silent mid-sentence and gaped just for a second before he hung up without saying goodbye. The jovial Castle disintegrated into the shadows behind his broody pained eyes.

"Beckett, what are you…?"

"I want to know what I've done wrong," She said, knowing that she would never win a beating around the bush contest with him. She had to be direct or he would beat her at her game, and she didn't want to play games! She was sick to death of games.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do," She replied, still seated and staring at her clasped hands. "I don't know what happened, but I know your face. It's been more than a week since you've even looked me in eye." This time she met his gaze and was surprised to see hurt coating the anger. "More than a week since we've had more than a one word conversation, then you run off the Vegas and come back with a person you've known for all of one day…"

"My personal life is..."

"I know it's your business. You're right. It is. But part of it, part of you, used to also be mine. And it's not anymore." She stood up and stepped closer. "You're different Castle, you're walking away. You're doing things, saying things that are just so…." She stopped, had to take a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. "Don't you think I can feel you walking away?" She closed her eyes. Damn it she didn't want to lay her heart wide open, she hadn't planned on baring it all to him, but the heart wanted to be seen, to be known. And the heart wants what it wants.

He hung his head, the brooding giving way to defeat. "I'm sorry. I just didn't know what else to do."

She searched his face, frowning at the obvious distress. "So you ARE walking away," she said, frustration pushing its way to the fore. "Why? And I want the truth! Because I'm lost here. One day we were doing fine, moving forward, or I thought we were, and the next day you don't want anything to do with me." She came toe to toe with him, her voice dropped to almost a whisper. "You don't want me anymore, that's fine, I can't do anything about that. But I deserve to know what I've done wrong!"

He averted his eyes, but choosing to skip the shouting match, turned and gestured toward the couch. They sat, not quite facing each other. He took a deep breath, and she saw a glimmer of the real Castle peek through. "I've asked you this more than once Kate, but if you're asking for truth then so am I. Do you remember everything about being shot? The things that were done and…said?"

She frowned. "Castle, I honestly don't know, because how do you know if your memory is leaving anything out? What exactly are you asking me?"

He turned to face her fully. "Do you remember what I said to you?"

"Yes," she said simply, then qualified it with "I think I do. There was so much pain Castle, like a cannon ball had landed on my chest, my ears were ringing, it's just a fog. I remember you asking me not to leave, to stay with you."

He stared at her, disbelief etched on his face. "That's all? You didn't hear me say…?"

"I love you," she finished for him. Then leaned forward, putting a hand on his knee. "You really said that? I wasn't sure. I was dying…everything seemed so far away."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Yes I said it."

She nodded, taking a moment to let the truth sink in. "I didn't know for sure." She frowned, cocked her head to the side. "Even if I had been sure Castle, I still wasn't ready, and when you told me that you'd be there, that we would work on that wall I had inside together I thought it didn't matter if you said it or if I imagined it, that we would eventually end up…" she gestured between them, unable to voice the possibility any longer. Her eyes clouded. "Is that what happened? Did you just give up on me? Am I too 'complicated' for you?"

"NO!" He said emphatically.

"Then what is it?!"

"I saw you doing an interrogation."

"Who was I interrogating?"

He scowled "I can't even remember. That's not important. What's important is that I heard you say that you remembered every second of being shot." He sighed, looked away. "It hit me. Hearing you say that. When you'd told me before, twice, that you didn't remember anything. I felt…lied to. I felt like I was the only one working toward…something more."

"So you ran away to Vegas instead of just asking me?"

"I didn't run away, I just needed to forget for a minute."

"Forget me," she said more to herself than him. She felt heavy, and oh so lonely. And then the anger broke through! Her eyebrows nearly met her hair line. "Okay, so let me get this straight. You hear me say something in the course of an interrogation and you just walk out of my life without even talking to me about it? During an INTERROGATION? Are you kidding me? Do you know how many cops lie through their teeth during an interrogation? All of them!" She was on her feet now, pacing toward him and away again. "I don't know what I remember and what I don't. That's not really the point now is it? You were willing to just cut me out! Push me away to the point of flaunting another woman in my face! Without even a conversation? Did you mean what you said to me when I got shot?"

He stood, went to her. "Kate…I…"

"Did you mean it?" She pushed.

"Yes, I meant it! I meant it every day before I said it, and every day after!"

Tears had spilled over, but she didn't seem to notice. "Every day until last week? Do you not mean it anymore? Because this doesn't feel like love to me Castle!"

In a moment he was at her side. "But it is love Kate. I still mean it. I'll always mean it. I just didn't think that you…" He took her by the shoulders, locked his eyes with hers. "I'm sorry. I should have just asked, I've just loved you for so long. The idea that you don't love me back…it broke my heart."

Her lips parted as she watched all his walls fall away and clatter at her feet. Behind them he looked like a beautiful, scared little boy. Going on pure instinct she wrapped him in her arms. She sighed against him, feeling full force the strength of how much she'd missed him. She turned her head, whispering in his ear. "Seeing you with that stewardess broke my heart."

He held on tighter. "I'm sorry. That won't happen again."

"Good. Because if we're going to do this, I can't have you running away. Not for anything, I can't have you running out on me. If we're doing this, we're DOING it."

One part of his brain wanted so much to play on her choice of words. Maybe later. For now he was going to let the relief wash over him. "No more running, not anymore."

He pulled back just far enough to see her face. She was giving him that smile that made him weak in the knees. "Promise?" She whispered.

"Always," he replied.

Their smiles melted into a searing kiss. Then another, and another. They clung and clawed and couldn't get close enough. Fingers laced through hair, tongues delved deep, when they were down to their last layer of clothing between them he ran his hands down her back, over her ass, and picked her up. Instinctively she wrapped her legs around his waist. Still kissing her, he carried her in to his room. No sooner had he kicked the door closed before he braced her against it. Holding her in place with his hips he yanked her shirt from her jeans and tossed it aside. She tilted her head back as he kissed her jaw, then her neck, then her collar bone. Stopping there to swirl his tongue along the length of it and back again, ending the move with a scrape of his teeth just light enough to give her goose bumps. He smiled up at her, loving the way she looked at him.

She put her hands in his hair and drew him up for another kiss, then feeling his day old stubble against the curve of her cleavage she pressed her breasts into his face. He closed his eyes and buried himself in her softness, laying kisses on the sides of her breasts. She gasped when he slid his tongue beneath her barely there bra and flicked the end of her nipple. Had anything ever felt this good? She was almost to the breaking point. She'd wanted him for so long. It had been so long for her. Reaching behind her with one arm she unsnapped her bra and let it fall.

Helping her toss it away, he returned his attention to her breasts. She expected him to dive in, to flick his tongue over her, to grab and squeeze and suck her flesh. She squirmed under the thought of it. But he didn't. His first move was to simply lean in and kiss the scar on her chest. Tears rose unexpectedly in her eyes. His breath came in shallow bursts as his tongue traced the sensitive scar tissue. "Mine," he whispered rough and low. His hands covered her breasts, fingers squeezed and rolled her nipples none too gently. He kissed her once more, rough and possessive and relentless.

She clawed at his shirt, ripping it open and shucking it down his arms and to the floor. She pulled him back in close, crying out when his chest came in contact with her sensitive nipples. His hand dropped low and cupped her center through her jeans. She held her breath and tried not to sink her nails into his back when he played the tip of his fingers over her nerves, through her clothes jogging them in place in a rapid come hither fashion. Holy Hell! She was on fire. The lightest of his touches already had her so close to the edge of reason.

He stepped back, let her drop her feet to the floor as they reached for the clasps of their pants. Soon all of their clothing was pooled at their feet and kicked away. To her surprised he picked her up and hoisted her back against the door. She wrapped her legs around him and expected him to push in to her. To finally end the years of foreplay they'd both endured. But he didn't. Instead he kissed her. Slow, but not soft. Faster and harder still until her mind reeled and the blood hummed in her lips. With one arm he held her against him. With the other he reached down and pushed his fingers through her soaked folds and deep inside her. With two fingers buried to the hilt, he kissed her still, as he began to mimic the come hither motion he'd done before. She would have screamed if she could find her breath. He was tracing her G spot, around the rough edges of it, rapidly stroking the even rougher middle. Taking care of her, his amazing fearless warrior of a woman, who was there in his arms because she'd been brave enough to face him. To demand the answers! She'd been far braver than he had been. She deserved to come apart at the seams over and over again. When he was done with her, she was going to be made of putty. He could feel her swelling around him and knew she was close. He pulled her up higher, pressing against her from the outside even as he stroked her unerringly on the inside. Sandwiching that oh so powerful bundle of nerves between two sensations. She ground against him. Reaching for it. He stopped kissing her and watched her face as she fell into oblivion. Her eyes had gone glassy and he knew it wouldn't be long. He kissed her scar again. "Mine!" He repeated fiercely. "You're mine, he can't take you away from me!"

She opened her eyes in time to see his go cobalt with passion, before she cried out and shattered into a million pieces.

The next thing she knew, she was cradled in his lap as he sat at the head of the bed. "Holy…wow!"

His smile was smug, even as his body was still painfully ready. "Oh that, well that was just the appetizer."

She opened her eyes and he winked at her. She managed to laugh, but not for long as the impact of what they'd started hit her full force. She watched him under heavy eyelids. His disheveled hair, swollen lips, flushed skin, and his very evident arousal still pressing against her. He'd taken care of her first, her amazing sexy man. He was right, it must be love.

She moved off of him and up to her knees, feeling sexy and oh so brave as he openly leered at her body. She leered right back, giving him a smile of appreciation that had him blushing. She leaned in and touched his face. Kissed him softly, as she moved her hands from his lap, to his sides, to his arms. Taking his hands she lifted them high so he was grasping the top of the headboard. She pulled back a fraction of an inch from his lips.

"Castle," she whispered.

"Yes?"

"Don't let go."

His eyes grew wide, but he did as he was told. Sitting there in all his glory in full salute with anyone else he might have felt vulnerable. With her, he couldn't wait to see what she had in store for him. He didn't have to wait long.

She moved back into his lap, and then up again onto her knees. As she kissed him her body shimmied back and forth against his skin as if she were moving to a melodic tune written only for them. She lifted up, offered him one breast and then the other. Moving them over his face, around his mouth until he caught one and sucked heartily. They both groaned. Her fingers moved to his nipples, hard and sensitive with arousal. She felt him gasp against her breast. Moving it from his mouth she dropped lower, kissing his jaw, his throat, flicking her tongue over his Adam's apple before trailing it straight down to his lap. He felt her breath against him and his muscles trembled in anticipation. She wrapped a hand and then her mouth around him, but sensing his impatience matched her own she rose up and kissed his mouth, letting her body caress his from lap to shoulder in an sensitive burst of sensation. She took his mouth, his body, his heart with an intensity he'd never before known. She stopped to watch his face as she lowered her body to join with his. His eyes went wide, and then fell closed. She started slow and deep, watching as he struggled to keep his hands on the headboard. Wanting so much to touch her. To guide her over him, to take her as he was being taken. She leaned forward bracing her hands on his chest as she picked up the pace. His body was rigid, eyes closed tight, knuckles white from his powerful grip. She knew it wouldn't be long.

"Castle," She whispered. "Look at me!"

His eyes fluttered open and he saw every muscle in her body tense and release as she moved over him. Then a look came to her eyes, and she moved her hands up her own thighs over her flat abs and on to her breasts. His eyes went wide as she threw back her head and moaned, riding his body, and rolling her nipples between her fingers. It was too much, she was too beautiful, too sexy; he couldn't wait another minute. Releasing his hands from the headboard he pulled her close, crying out her name against her hair as he emptied everything he had, everything he was inside her.

For long minutes only the sounds of their breathing filled the room. Until she shifted, and he shifted and they fell together onto the bed. She buried her face against his chest as his arms came around her. Tenderly he kissed her hair, stroked her back, held her against him so close she didn't know where he ended and she began. He turned away from her just for a moment to push a button on his night stand. She smiled up at him as the lights dimmed and firelight erupted in sconces around the room. Her last thought before she drifted off draped against him, was that she had never felt so safe in her life.

Good? Bad? This freaking Bronchial Pneumonia I can't get rid of for a month? Let me know.


End file.
